Putsata Reang

Book cover of Ma and Me

Award-Winning Journalist and Author

Beyond the Cage of Our Stories

When I was a little girl, my Cambodian mother regularly told me: “Put, when you grow up and have a husband, you always have to have a hot meal ready for him.” As she said this, she stirred spinach into her Cambodian meatball soup and cut vegetables down to coins to toss into her wok. I watched with wonder as she worked full-time and yet always managed to have a hot meal ready for my father, every single day. My mother said, “husband,” not “wife,” and I grew up believing that one day, I, too would have a husband, too. The trouble was, I felt something urgent and deep for girls that I did not feel for boys—a feeling I recognized as dangerous, defective. I liked girls, before I understood I liked them. I had a crush on Amber McMichael in the first grade and a crush on Susan McNulty in the fifth grade. I knew, from that early age, that I was gay. But I lacked both the words and the wisdom to acknowledge this. So, I hid this fact of my being from my family, from my friends and my community. I hid from myself.

Ma and Me: a stunning, deeply moving memoir about love, debt, and duty

We are not meant to hide forever. You can hide for so long before something or someone flushes you from cover. For me, that was meeting and falling in love with a woman just one month before I turned 40. I chose to marry my partner, despite the deep shame it brought to my family. There is a consequence and cost to making this kind of choice; and for me, it was losing the relationship with my mother, who was too disappointed in having a gay daughter to accept me. But there is also reward and redemption in reckonings, and for me, that is to finally live the life I want to live, rather than live limited and bound by the narrative I was born into. We all have stories that cage us. And we all possess the guts and grit to break past the boundaries of narrative and be free. Putsata’s personal experience has given her a unique perspective on the challenges of growing up in a conservative culture and coming out to family and friends. Her story is one of resilience, perseverance, and ultimately, acceptance. If you’re looking for a speaker who can inspire your audience to embrace their own identities and overcome adversity, Putsata Reang is the perfect choice. Her message of inclusivity and self-acceptance is one that resonates with people of all backgrounds and experiences. Putsata Reang is a journalist and author of the debut memoir, “Ma and Me” (winner of the 2022 Pacific Northwest Book Award) that explores her reckoning with the debt and duty she feels she owes her mother with her own desire to claim selfhood. Putsata has lived and worked in more than a dozen countries including Cambodia, Afghanistan and Thailand. She worked as a reporter for major metropolitan newspapers including the San Jose Mercury News and The Seattle-Times before moving abroad to train journalists in investigative and political reporting in conflict and post-conflict countries. Putsata is an alumna of writers residencies at Hedgebrook, Mineral School and Kimmel Harding Nelson, as well as the Jack Straw Writers Program. She has received grants from Washington State Artist Trust and the Alicia Patterson Journalism Fellowship. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Politico, Ms., the Guardian among other publications and she has been anthologized in essay collections that highlight women’s and Khmer voices. Putsata lives with her wife in the Pacific Northwest.

The Response:

(Putsata) was a spectacular hit with students (and faculty) across the J-school. Her adventures in journalism, journalism training and — particularly — reportorial memoir writing resonated with students who always are looking for role models. It doesn’t hurt that she is an extraordinarily gracious and appreciative colleague, and an engaging dinner companion.
Prof. Peter Laufer, University of Oregon
 
(Putsata) was great….There was literally standing room only by the time the lecture began.
Azia Salbego, Curator of Education, Corvallis Museum
 
Familial ties and the scars of war are exquisitely examined in this luminous debut from journalist Reang.(…)In wringing compassion from her complicated legacy, Reang offers a nuanced mediation on love, identity, and belonging. This story of survival radiates with resilience and hope.
Publisher’s Weekly, Starred Review
 
We selected Ma and Me for our inaugural one book program to support empathy through reading for public libraries across Northern New Jersey. Putsata was gracious, warm, and an amazing presence during her two author events that bridged gaps and opened eyes. Truly a special author with a message people need to hear.
David Hanson, Executive Director, Bergen County Cooperative Library System Â